We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
