In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
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