Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
