In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
