his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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