David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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