If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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