this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
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