I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
