just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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