Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
