Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
