and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I enjoy the company of your penis
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
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