She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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