I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
