yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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