Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
