If you die in college, do you die in real life?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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