I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
