ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Randomize
