It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
Randomize
