There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I need to align my fucking chakras
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
