id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Randomize
