He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
