a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize