You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
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