Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Randomize
