You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
