My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He felt like a one man threesome
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
