Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
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