Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize