She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
That accounts for only three of the penises
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
