Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
