It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
