You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Randomize
