I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
