just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
