it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
