I don't think brook has ever known best
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
