He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
