just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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