On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
