My balls are so social today.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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