would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Randomize