hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize