and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
When are your genitals available?
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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