Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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