plz talk dirty to me
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
