totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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