I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
