Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
