Swine flu. Run for my life!
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
