how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
