girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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