Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
