We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
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