He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
