Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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