i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
