There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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